nine2five 4 Shiny Happy People
by Marc Vun Kannon
Summary: It's the morning after the night before, and things are beginning to heat up at Casa Bartowski, and for the Intersect Project. All Charah, no angst! Yes, I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N** I just want to say thanks from the bottom of my heart for all the comments I've received about this story and the series as a whole. It really fills me with terror, knowing what I have to live up to. Be warned, this story is much more of a sequel than the other stories were, it really helps (a little) if you've read Larger Than Life. Now that we've got the basics of this AU set up, it's time to get started with the larger story. So here we go.

* * *

Sarah couldn't hear the sound of her alarm clock over the pounding of her heart, beating in the same panic-stricken rhythm that explained why the annoying thing (the alarm, that is, not her heart) did such a great job waking her up in the morning. She rolled over and smacked it, only then realizing that it wasn't on. One of his jobs had given him the day off. The other one had decided that full daily uploads were perhaps not in his, which is to say, _their_ best interests, and were experimenting with smaller, targeted data-sets. No need to get up early this morning.

"Hey! Watch the arm!"

Oh no. Chuck's arm, wrapped so tenderly and lovingly around her at night, was now trapped beneath her flailing body. Even worse, she'd woken him up doing it. This was not how she liked her days to begin. "Sorry."

He closed his hand gently, softly squeezing the part of her body that had naturally fallen into it, not an expression of lust but of comfort. "Rough night? I can feel your heart pounding."

"That's not the only thing you're feeling." She rolled back over, snuggling close. "Nightmare."

"Mission?"

"Mmm-mm. I was killing Carina."

"Must have been a doozy of a bad dream."

"That was the good part."

* * *

Chuck gestured at the screen with the videos playing, sound muted. Sarah didn't need to hear any of it again. "I can't believe she made you watch all this. I thought she was your friend."

"She is," said Sarah, from her refuge in the kitchen, practicing her breakfast-making skills. "She said something she thought I needed to hear. Friends do that."

"Did you need to hear it?" _Me, whining like a baby?_

She paused in her chopping. Razor edges and contemplation don't mix. "I think…yes. I can't imagine I would ever have listened to any of that on my own, and I don't think it would have bothered me so much if it weren't true, at least a little bit."

If he'd known they were recording the scene as prep for their incursion, he wouldn't have said any of that, for fear that his comments would get back to her. As they had. He wanted to go back to sleep, so he could dream of beating up Carina himself. "I should have known you'd be riding to the rescue, kept my big mouth shut."

"Are you kidding?" she called. "You're the hero!"

"I was unarmed, tied to a chair, and had a bag over my head the entire time," he snapped. "Explain to me how that makes me the hero."

She missed the snappage, focused on carrying his heroic meal out to the breakfast nook without spilling anything. "It was a hostage situation, lots of guns and violence in the air, but he lets Carina run up, kiss him stupid, and whack him in the head with a brick."

He sat down and started eating slowly, making sure to enjoy everything as per her explicit instructions. "Sounds to me like that makes her the hero."

She came around behind him and draped her arms over his shoulders. "Alright, so maybe you didn't exactly talk about her, feed his delusion, and blind him to the truth on purpose, but it was the right thing to do and you did it. Do you really think Stromberg would have let her get anywhere near him if it hadn't been for that?" Let Carina have that much. His little confession of total intergalactic love more than made up for it. The best lies have a hefty dose of truth in them.

"Oh." _I'm Kryptonite-Man. _"No, I guess not."He forced a smile. _I weaken my enemies to death. _"Yay, me."

She leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Absolutely yay, you." She sauntered back to the kitchen, letting him get a good look at her lingerie-clad butt as she stripped off her apron.

_I've domesticated a goddess._ Maybe it was for the best that he was locked in the most thoroughly insulated room on the planet during their missions. _Unless… _he thought with fading rationality, his gaze focused on the shifting material. Unless this is one of her seduction techniques and she's using her feminine wiles to domesticate him which really made a whole lot more sense when he thought about it. Maybe it's just as well she was locked _out_ of the most insulated room on the planet during their missions. Between the view and the food he started to drool, but he shook himself out of it. "I really appreciate the, uh, yeah. Oh, boy. But… don't I have to look at that thing they, um, wanted me to look at?"

_Thud!_ Is not normally a sound-effect associated with aprons, but somehow Sarah managed it, as she dropped the frilly cloth item on the countertop. "Yeah," she sighed. Then she smiled. "We'll just have to make our after-breakfast delight an after-lunch delight instead."

"You're insatiable!"

_No, I just don't know what else to do._ She'd never had a life before. "Or, we could…go to a movie. Or a museum. A zoo. A baseball game." She looked at him, sitting there dazed. "Cold? Warm?" _Give me a clue here, Chuck. _What do normal people do with their lives?

"You know, I have no idea. I grew up in a suburb of a city that wasn't exactly famous for its museums and zoos. Unless you count the celebrities, I'm sure they feel like they live in invisible cages sometimes. I suppose if we'd had any dates that were either remotely real or not violently interrupted by international arms smugglers, we would know this stuff already." Suddenly he stood and flung up his hands. "You know what. Screw normal. After I get done pinpointing this nuclear bomb, how about we go down to the CIA gym so I can practice deploying the Morgan's awesome offensive capabilities, or maybe the range, where you can practice your gun kata some more."

She shook her head. _He's so cute!_ "You realize they just made that up for the movie, right? There really isn't a 'gun kata'."

"I've seen para-sailing in movies, is that fake too?"

"Just because some things in the movies are real—"

Chuck clapped his hands to his ears. "La-la-la-la, I'm not listening, but seriously—" He dropped his hands, walked over and kissed her gently on the lips "—it is _so_ sexy that you actually remembered Equilibrium like that."

It was the only thing she remembered about the movie, because let's face it, a gun kata would be a really handy thing for an assassin to know, but she decided not to point it out. Instead she leaned forward on the counter, aiming her cleavage at him. "You find that sexy?"

"The Nerd-sexy of my people isn't like your Earth-sexy, which…ah… isn't to say that I don't find you incredibly Earth-sexy too, but really we should get going before my tongue digs the hole I'm in any deeper…"

"I do have better uses for your tongue."

He clapped his hands to his ears, running away. "La-la-la-la I'm not listening!

* * *

Nobody noticed them come in. Chuck's Matrix was parked over by the Utilities entrance, the humble janitor called in on his day off to take care of something. Nobody cared what, no one paid attention to janitors, which is just how The Janitors liked it to be. Besides, right after the poor zhlub in a car too small for him came the hottest blonde in the building, in a car made to suit. Within a few moments, no one saw either of them any more.

Down in Intersect Central, Sarah waited in Medical until things settled down in the room across the hall. "Ellie, can you do me a favor?"

"One second." Ellie checked a number of monitors and readouts, verifying that the data they'd gotten was the data she needed. "Okay, shoot." She could analyze it later.

Sarah handed over the flash drive. "Can you watch these, and tell me what you think?"

Ellie took the drive and started the first file, pausing when she noticed her guest's reaction to get her headphones and spare her the rest. "I think whoever gave you this is either a very good friend or a cruel and ruthless bastard."

"Bitch."

"Okay, bitch. Or some unholy and incomprehensible combination of the two."

"You'd be right."

"I don't think I'm going to like this person. I won't have to meet her, will I?"

"Unlikely, but she's on the team now and she is a friend of mine, so you never know. One thing I do know is that you're definitely going to have to work at it to like her."

"Why?"

Sarah made a show of checking her watch. "Right about…now."

"What the hell? Is that _Chuck_?"

"Yeah…"

"She got him kidnapped?"

"It's like she has this…superpower."

Ellie kept silent until the recording ended. "Tell me."

"They were after her, and took him to trade. They had no idea who he was or what we would do. I almost felt sorry for them."

"Really?"

"No. They took my husband, I gave them what they deserved for it." Her voice got less firm. "Does that make me a bad person?"

It wasn't an idle question, and Ellie knew it. She put her own irritation aside. Someone was hurting and she was a doctor. "Sweetie, you're a wife _and_ an agent. I'd be more upset if you hadn't done something. It's the same for doctors. Sometimes you have to do bad things to prevent worse things. It wasn't bad, just…necessary." She came around her desk and enveloped Sarah in a rare non-bone-crushing hug. "Is it bothering you?"

"No."

"Ah, and _that's_ what's bothering you."

"No. Well, yes, but…" Sarah fell into a chair. "I'm more comfortable rescuing my husband from a hostage situation than I am just lying in bed with him."

"That's not surprising." She stroked Sarah's hair. "A hostage situation gives you an enemy and a purpose. Lying in bed, you look out over this vast indefinite future of things happening, but you don't know what they are or what you can do about them. You can't plan or prepare."

"I like to plan," Sarah said to her knees.

Ellie smiled. "You mean all those missions with my brother didn't give you a taste for making it up as you went along?"

"Please, he was worse than Carina. At least she had a plan, she just didn't bother sharing it with the rest of us. You're brother is a genius but he wasn't easy to work with." Suddenly her pocket buzzed, and Sarah pulled out her phone. She read the text aloud. "Grab your passport and pack your swimsuit, you're going to Hawaii!" She looked up. "Can I take that last sentence back?"

"He does know that's a state. I helped him study for his geography final."

"I can ask him…"

Ellie waved a hand. "Don't bother, he's on a roll."

"Okay." She started typing. "Why am I going to Hawaii?"

Even the buzz of the phone seemed more agitated. "The Ring's going after Morgan!"

* * *

And so it begins.


	2. Keeping it Brief

A/N I was expecting them to be in Hawaii by now, but somehow this thing took an unexpected backstory-ish turn. Weird. Thanks to those who commented, as always. For those who really really want an Ellie/Carina confrontation, rest assured it will happen, but some booms have to carefully raised to be properly lowered.

* * *

"_Grab your passport and pack your swimsuit, you're going to Hawaii!" _

_She started typing. "Why am I going to Hawaii?"_

_Even the buzz of the phone seemed more agitated. "The Ring's going after Morgan!"_

* * *

"Chuck, you are aware, I hope, that Hawaii is the fiftieth state of the Union? It has been for some time."

Chuck was the only one who succeeded in keeping a straight face, although Ellie and Sarah at least made the attempt. Casey and Carina didn't. Even Beckman herself had a twitch to her lip, if you looked, and he did look. He'd been dressed down by her more often than he wanted to admit, been the object of her withering sarcasm, more cutting than any of Casey's snide remarks. But he'd never been razzed by her before. She never would have called him 'Chuck' if she'd been serious. "Yes General. Clearly my sister's coaching in the fine points of U.S. history and geography has been less effective than we all hoped." On one of the insets of his monitor, Ellie's mouth dropped. Sarah laughed and bumped shoulders with her.

Chuck could get used to briefings like this.

"Good. Now that that's settled, let us move on to other matters of grave importance. Mr. Grimes is in Hawaii and the Ring is seeking him there. Why?"

"Well, as to the first, Morgan has always had a dream to become a hibachi chef, and he went off to Hawaii with his girlfriend Anna to learn at Benihana." Chuck put up a bit of video he'd stolen and kept for himself, Morgan's moment of triumph, the day he'd quit the Buy More, Anna all over him and nothing else, above the waist. To the other greenshirts it was an inspiring moment.

Casey rolled his eyes at the display. "That makes about as much sense as anything else in Grimes' life," he said, less than inspired.

"At least he's got a dream, Casey," said Ellie.

"Yes, and kudos to Mr. Grimes for aspiring to be more than he is, but the question is why would the Ring want him? Surely they can get their own hibachi chefs, should they need one."

"They think he's Charles Carmichael."

The train that had been so smoothly and swiftly cruising across the Great Plains with picturesque views on either side, suddenly missed a bridge and went crashing into a ravine that shouldn't even have been there. Only Chuck could keep track of all the reactions in all the little boxes on his screen, but fortunately for them he was above petty things like blackmail.

"Explain," said the General, in a strangled voice.

Chuck waited politely until Casey had finished wiping the tears from his eyes. "The most the Ring could have known was that Charles Carmichael was based out of LA. Morgan and I both left at about the same time, in opposite directions. Since then—"

"Since then we've been involved in some operations that went off like clockwork, with you kept safely out of the way in your insulated bunker."

"Yes, thank you Casey, for that analysis." Especially since it agreed with his own.

"What happened to Morgan, Chuck?" said Sarah.

Another image popped up. "Alejandro Fulgencio Goya, premier of the tiny nation of—"

"Costa Gravas," growled Casey.

"Why, yes, Casey, I do believe you've vacationed there a time or two. Not that most of us would consider two weeks inside the walls of a tropical fortress a vaca—"

"Don't remind me. Three times that little weasel got away."

"Make it four," said Chuck. Several news photos popped up. "He was in Hawaii last week, trying to enhance his country's image, but more importantly researching ways to make his country more tourist-friendly. As part of this tour, he got out among the people at a local restaurant." Three guesses which one.

"Grimes was there?"

"As a trainee." Other photos started popping up, blurry figures in the background circled. "The Ring must not have any hibachi chefs of their own. It looks like they tried to substitute an agent for one of the chefs in the restaurant, and I doubt he was very convincing. Something happened, but we have no clear evidence as to what."

"Let me guess. Knives, flames, and people running screaming into the night?"

"Something like that, yeah."

"Sounds like a typical Carmichael op to me."

"Yes, and thank you again, Casey, for your insights."

"It does bear a remarkable similarity to that one mission we did, Chuck. You remember it, we had to pass it off as a reality TV program gone horribly wrong—?"

"Thanks for that trip down memory lane, Sarah," said Chuck, jaw clenched.

Carina just had to know. "What were you going to call it?"

Casey smirked. "I voted for 'World's Biggest Loser'."

"They would have sued us, if the show had been even remotely real."

"Okay, getting back to the briefing now…when the dust settled, Goya was alive, the assassin was dead, and one of Morgan's knives was lodged in the assassin's chest."

"So who really did it?" asked Casey.

"Unknown at this time, but Morgan was hailed as the hero of the hour, and extensively interviewed as such." A new box popped up.

_"—honestly don't know what I did, Becky, I guess I was flying on auto-pilot at that point, and just went into my move—"_ The playback paused, catching Morgan with his mouth open.

Ellie spoke into the silence. "His move?"

"The Morgan."

"That's not a move!" said Casey. "That's flinching, with style!"

"Fortunately no one asked for a demonstration."

Beckman leaned forward. "Is this all, Mr. Bartowski?"

"In the day since all this happened, two other Ring operatives have been found, armed but dead. Local authorities have no idea who they really were. They're concerned, since Morgan was nearby in both cases, but he's playing it all blasé for the cameras." Another popup.

_"—nothing frightens the Griminator, although I'm very grateful for your concern—"_

"The Griminator?" said Carina. "Martin?"

"Maybe we should let the Ring capture him," said Casey. "We'd have them surrendering in droves within a week."

"He's my best friend, Colonel, and a civilian," said Chuck. "He's not a goat to stake out in the middle of the Pacific so you can grab the Ring brass."

"Actually, Chuck, he makes quite an excellent magnet—"

"General, you can't be proposing—!"

She was much better at interrupting. "As I was saying, _Mister_ Bartowski, Colonel Casey, despite Mr. Grimes' obvious attractive properties, we cannot leave him to twist in the wind." She matched Chuck's expression of surprise with her own. "I'm not so heartless as all that, Chuck. Morgan Grimes may not be on our team, but he's on yours, and has been for most of your lives. Whatever his failings—" her expression revealed that in her opinion his failings were many "—that kind of loyalty deserves to be rewarded." Her eyes shifted. "Sarah, Casey, prepare to go to Hawaii and extract Mr. Grimes."

"Uh, General, I have a…social…obligation…this evening…" Casey sounded almost embarrassed to admit that he had a life.

"An obligation that trumps your mission, Colonel?"

"It is…obliquely…related…ma'am. Part of my cover."

She gave him an odd look, but finally nodded. "Very well, Agent…Carina, you shall accompany Agent Bartowski to Hawaii. Mr. Grimes' safety is the priority." _Although if you should happen to encounter a Ring strike team or two…_

Chuck practically sighed in relief, now that it was official. "Thank you, General."

"Thank you, Mr. Bartowski. I trust you will be on hand to provide support, should any be needed?"

"Of course, ma'am."

"Dismissed."

* * *

Casey cut his feed, relieved that he'd managed to not get roped into this Hawaii thing, grateful for once that Carina was there to pick up the slack. The guys in IM had found out about his promotion to Colonel. It would really have sucked for the guest of honor to miss his own party.

* * *

Carina did not, strangely enough, leap from her desk in glee at the opportunity to escape dreary DC, instead getting out her flash drive and calling up her main spreadsheet. All her outfits had been carefully vetted to reveal maximum skin while concealing copious weapons. She just had to find one she hadn't worn in Hawaii already. Good recordkeeping is essential to a proper wardrobe.

* * *

"Well, we knew this was going to happen sooner or later."

"I had my vote in the goblet for later. I hope you're going loaded for bear?"

"Chuck, it's a simple extraction job."

"Sarah, you're going to be on the same island with Morgan _and_ Carina at the same time. Do you remember what happened the last time those two crazy kids were in the same time zone? You will be armed with every gadget Q ever dreamed up, and some he didn't."

Sarah smiled. "Yes, husband."

Chuck smiled back. "Better. No taking chances with my wife, now." He kissed her firmly.

When he was done she looked at him with a somewhat dazed expression. "I—I have to go pack—or something…"

He nuzzled her neck. "Definitely 'or something'."

"I have to go…" she repeated breathlessly, pushing with no strength.

He let her have her way with him. "Don't think of it as going. Think of it as preparing to be welcomed back."

* * *

"I thought you'd be calling," said Ellie.

Beckman saw no need to play the politeness game. "Your analysis, Doctor."

"His behavior is normal for Chuck. His scans are all within the baselines we've established. He had a few mild spikes when he mentioned Charles Carmichael, but I think that's amusement, here. Other spikes, here and here. He doesn't like being reminded of his failures any more than you or I do. All perfectly normal in context, nothing I would consider noteworthy. I wish you'd tell me what you're afraid of, General."

"I'd tell you if I knew. These are uncharted waters, Doctor, and we are the mapmakers. The Intersect Project must not be allowed to fail again."

* * *

**A/N2** Cue dramatic music. I don't think I had any of them acting OOC, especially the General. I never thought she was written very coherently on the show. The Griminator reference was picked up from one of ne71's stories.


	3. Operation Morgan

**A/N** Thanks this time go out to esardi and atcDave, both of whom made suggestions that I took to heart. This story is not close to ending yet, I think it will be a double-length piece, the way Angel of Death and Operation Awesome were really one story over two episodes.

* * *

"_Chuck, it's a simple extraction job."_

"_I wish you'd tell me what you're afraid of, General."_

"_I'd tell you if I knew. These are uncharted waters, Doctor, and we are the mapmakers."_

"_Don't think of it as going. Think of it as preparing to be welcomed back."_

* * *

Sarah squirmed in her seat, uncomfortable in every position. When the seat fit, her clothes were too tight. When she was comfortable in her clothes, she felt too hot. If by some miracle she found a posture that suited her, she got tingles and muscle aches that forced her to move and start the whole dance all over again. She hadn't needed to, but she'd gone to the bathroom three times already just for the walk.

Carina noticed, of course. She wasn't really reading the fashion magazine in front of her, she'd already determined that she was ahead of the curve in every way and was merely gloating. "Something wrong, Walk—Bartowski?"

Sarah froze. _Busted. _Still she tried to bluff. "There's something wrong with this seat."

Call. "You want to change?"

Fold. They'd already exchanged seats, and Carina looked quite comfortable where she was. "No," said Sarah, rubbing her sweaty palms on her pants. "It wouldn't do any good."

"Probably not, Blondie. You look like you're about to join the Mile High club all by yourself, and that's just wrong on so many levels."

_Chuck kissing her. Chuck nuzzling at her neck. Chuck sending her across the continent alone. _She squirmed in her seat some more. "I hate my husband."

Carina looked up. "That might work."

* * *

Chuck rang the bell, even though his sister had long ago given him a key. She'd also told him that Devon would be home tonight, so he didn't think he'd have to use it, and he wasn't disappointed.

"Hey Chuck, come on in, bro. Ellie said you'd be coming by."

Chuck stepped through the doorway, gave his brother-in-law a hug. "Hi, Devon. It's been too long."

"That it has, Chuckmeister, that it has. But if I had a wife as beautiful as yours at home you wouldn't be seeing me that often either."

"You do."

"You see my point, then," said the blond Adonis, with his trademark broad grin. "Sarah out saving the world again?"

"No, just a…small piece of it." Devon was on call for the Medical needs of the Intersect Project, but not cleared for their activities otherwise. "She's in the air now, and I'll be supporting her team later."

Which meant Ellie would be busy later too. Devon was used to the two of them working long and incompatible shifts, but that didn't mean he had to like it. Fortunately her schedule was a lot more regular now they were in DC. "That's great, bro. I was just gonna do an hour on the bike, maybe some crunches with a protein shake chaser, especially if El's not gonna be home. But we can do some takeout if you like."

"No need, Captain, no need." _Time to man up, Bartowski._ "You mind if I join you, maybe try out one of your famous shakes?"

Another bright smile. "Awesome! Hey, you wanna go for a run instead?"

Chuck's smile was weaker, but trying. "Promise you'll go easy on me? I have to work tonight."

"No problem, Chuck. Run a couple of miles, down one of my special specials, and all will be right with your world."

Chuck just nodded. The things we do for love.

* * *

"Hey, Blondie, wait up."

Sarah paused and turned. "Hurry up. We've got to get to Morgan." She let the 'before they do' hang unspoken.

"We've got to do nothing," whispered Carina fiercely when she was close enough. "We are two hot babes on vacation, ogling and being ogled. Anything else is breaking cover." Sarah wiggled her ringed fingers in Carina's face, and walked away. "Okay, one hot babe and…whatever you are," said Carina, hurrying to catch up. "Which is good, by the way. I get all the spillover."

"You can't honestly think we're going to be here long enough for it to matter?"

"A girl can dream, can't she?"

"No!" Sarah said. "No, I can't dream. I would love to dream, and dream of making that dream a gushy reality, but this mission doesn't need Sarah Bartowski right now, it needs Agent Walk—Bartowski."

"Geez, Blondie, I thought you took care of that back at the hotel. You should have gone before we left."

"'Gone'?"

"I'm being subtle. One verb is as good as another to a girl in your condition."

"This is you being subtle? 'Cause you kind of suck at it."

"I suck at—No. Nope. I'm not gonna do it."

Sarah rolled her eyes but kept walking. "Not gonna do what?"

"Sleazy banter. I need to upgrade, thanks to that boytoy of yours."

Sarah turned in mid-step. "You've been trying your sleazy tricks on _my husband_?"

Heads turned up and down the street.

Carina moved in close, perhaps not the safest move but a necessary one. "Geez, Walker, chill out. Save it for when we need a diversion." Normally she didn't mind being stared at by strangers, but not this way, and she strode away first, forcing Sarah to play catch-up. Under her breath, she muttered, "It's not like they work on him anyway. Not when he has you so ready and willing, Mrs. Bunny Rabbit."

Sarah laughed. "You've got that completely wrong. It's not because he's my husband that he ignores your lines, it's because he ignores your lines that he's my husband. Do you really think that upgrading your cheap moves will work any better?"

Carina frowned at the claim that anything about her was cheap, but deep down she knew they were. She saw that now, and it was all Chuck's fault for being such a boy scout. "No, but that's not the point. They're supposed to be fun, not embarrassing."

"Especially not so embarrassing that they drive him right into the arms of the enemy."

Professional failure was the only thing that could make Carina blush like that. "Way to rub it in, Walker."

"Bartowski."

"I thought we didn't need Sarah Bartowski on this mission."

Sarah pursed her lips fuming. Suddenly her faced cleared, and she smiled. "You know, you're right. This mission doesn't need Sarah Bartowski at all. So I think I'll let her go back to the hotel and lie there in frustrated splendor, thinking up a suitable punishment."

"For Chuck?" He'd _need_ a walker when she was through with him.

"Sarah Bartowski already knows what Chuck's punishment will be, and it'll land on him like a ton of bricks as soon as she can get him alone. This punishment's for you. She still hasn't forgiven you yet."

* * *

Chuck stared at the glass, its contents an interesting shade of…tan. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "This is my mission, and I've chosen to accept it."

Devon stood by the sink, rinsing out the blender. "It's just a protein shake, bro. No need to act like it's your last meal."

"If it tastes like it looks, it may very well be."

"Come on, this is a baby shake." He flipped the towel over his shoulder. "Starting you off easy, just like you said."

Chuck took a cautious sip. "What's in it?"

Devon backed away. "Oh no, I'll tell you that after it's done. Down the hatch. Can't be awesome without being —" dramatic pause "—awesome." He folded his arms and waited.

Try as he might, Chuck couldn't refute that argument. "Here goes." He closed his eyes, held his breath, and drank the whole thing down in one long pull. "Now, spill it."

Devon smiled as he took the glass and rinsed it. "That was just four eggs and a glass of orange juice, whizzed up in a blender. Wait until you get to the real drinks."

"Is there some kind of Manly-Man school that you and Casey both went to, cause I swear—" His phone buzzed, and he checked the text. "Gotta go, big guy. Thanks for the workout." He hobbled to the door.

"You want me to carry you? Might be faster."

"No thanks. I'm good. And I'm gonna get better."

"It's not impossible, bro. We'll get you where you want to go," said Devon with firm conviction. "It's just gonna take a long time and hurt a lot."

"I think I figured that part out already."

* * *

They knew they were getting close when they spotted the line. Both ladies ran their fingers through their hair casually, activating ear comms that connected back to a relay in their hotel which bounced the signal around the planet to Chuck, sitting inside his insulated bunker.

He was also watching from orbit, but once they went inside it would be ears only. "Perfection, this is Graboid, you are live."

Carina. "What happened to 'Telescope'?"

"This is radio."

"Then I want a radio name too."

"The only woman really in the movie was named Rhonda, she was the romantic lead."

Sarah. "I don't think so, Chuck."

"Yeah, I didn't think you would. How about 'Bedrock'?"

Carina shook her head, muttering, "Not gonna do it" under her breath.

Sarah smirked. "That would be a no, Graboid."

"Rats. I figured if I couldn't get her into bed I could at least get a bed into her." Sarah swallowed a laugh and looked over at Carina, who was turning purple with either suppressed laughter or rage. "How about 'Stampede'?"

Carina. "Those are my choices?"

"Best I can do, off the cuff like this."

"Fine, 'Stampede.' I hate you more than your wife does right now. And she hates you a lot."

Chuck started to sweat. "Sweetie?"

Sarah. "Sweetie's back in the hotel room, planning various revenges. Agent Bartowski plus one is waiting to get this mission underway."

"Jump the line, Perfection." _Revenge for what?_

"Jumping, Graboid."

They walked down the street, completely past the line, to a newly-hired bouncer and his clipboard. The windows of this restaurant were papered with clippings, accounts of the events of a few days ago and their trainee's starring role. Sarah looked up, expecting to see a homemade 'Home of the Griminator' sign, but apparently good sense (and taste) had prevailed at least once in this snafu. "Excuse me," said Sarah, "I'm looking for Morgan Grimes."

"Back of the line, ladies."

"My name is Sarah Bartowski. I'm a personal friend."

"I'm sure you are."

"Morgan Grimes moved here from Los Angeles. He used to work at a Buy More in Burbank, where his best friend was and still is Charles Irving Bartowski, king of the Nerd Herd and my husband." She flashed him a picture of the three of them together.

The guard pulled out his radio. "Somebody for Grimes, a hot blonde, name of Bartowski." He listened to his earpiece, then pulled the rope aside. "Enjoy your stay, ladies."

"Thank you."

Morgan sat enthroned at the bar, drinking free grape soda while acting as a combination greeter, hero, and king, when he was required to act at all. The job suited him. The first thing he did when they got to him was sign their photo. "Chuck's not with you?"

"No, he's still back in DC. He sent us, though. Morgan, do you have any idea of the danger you're in?"

"Danger? Don't I know it! All these fans and my sweet Anna-belle is just a _little_ bit possessive. Make that a big bit possessive. Thank God they hired the bouncers, keeping the mob under control. But you can go back to DC and tell Chuck not to worry, I won't let it change me."

"Morgan…"

"Well, well, well," said a slightly inebriated man as he oozed himself in behind Sarah. "It looks like the king of Benihana has finally found his queen! This calls for a celebration! Bartender, a round of drinks for the lucky lovely ladies."

This just kept getting better and better. "Thanks, but no," said Sarah, turning. She raised her hand. "Very married, very happy."

The man grabbed her wrist. "Oh we know who you are, Mrs. Carmichael," he said, poking her in the ribs with his concealed pistol. "That's why we're celebrating."

* * *

**A/N2 **NOt sure what kind of an update schedule I'll be keeping for the near future. I'm judging a book contest and need to focus on reading the entries.


	4. Anna One, Anna Two

**A/N** No research on NSA training techniques or anything else was done for the sake of this story. I watched some youtube videos on escrima techniques but that's it. If you're looking for realism, accuracy, and verisimilitude, watch Get Smart.

* * *

"_Tell Chuck not to worry, I won't let it change me." _

"_No thanks. I'm good. And I'm gonna get better." _

" _Very married. Very happy." _

"_We know who you are, Mrs. Carmichael. That's why we're celebrating."_

* * *

Morgan looked up and saw some goofball manhandling his best friend's best girl. Only girl, and you can't get any better than that. "Hey, hands off, Mac! Weren't you listening? The lady's taken."

The man gestured, and another goon materialized by Morgan's side, tranq gun in hand."So are you, Mr. Carmichael, so are you." The goon fired twice.

"Hey, that hu-uuh!" Morgan, never one to do anything gracefully, toppled from his stool, forcing the goon to catch him and distracting his boss. His boss still held Sarah's wrist, with less than eight inches of space between them when his eyes flicked once to look over her shoulder.

Sarah kicked him. In the nose.

He died.

He died with momentum, and Sarah used that momentum to pivot his dead weight around and slam it into his goon. The man went down under his leader's bulk, with Sarah following as her wrist was still held. Carina moved to grab Morgan as he continued to topple from his stool. Thus no one was entirely upright when a third Ring agent opened fire from the other end of the bar.

The bullets shattered the window, as people outside in very little clothing ran in panic from the sound of gunfire and the explosion of glass.

* * *

Chuck winced at the sudden loud noises in his headphones. "Someone call the General! They're in trouble!"

* * *

Something went _crunch_ and the shooting stopped. "Hey, jackass! There could be kids out there!" Sarah heard a series of sharp strikes of wood against flesh, the sound of metal hitting the floor, and a man howling in pain. She looked up, to see a short Asian woman with two wooden rods in her hands dancing around the man with careful, precise footwork, landing blow after unanswered blow against his head, wrists, and elbows.

"Don't worry, ladies," she said with perfect calm. For a finale she hooked her opponent's head with the short end of her stick and ran it into the bar, dropping him like a stone. "I got this." She kept a fighting stance, but no new enemies came crawling out of the woodwork.

"Anna?"

* * *

Chucked stared at his blank screen. _Anna? _"Someone call the General. They're _not_ in trouble."

* * *

Anna Wu turned. "Sarah? What are _you_ doing here?"

"We came to visit, but then those men just came out of nowhere and attacked Morgan." She looked at the bartender, just starting to show his face above the bar. "You saw it, didn't you?"

The man nodded spasmodically.

Okay, one cover story set. "Why are all these men after him?"

"It's a long story." She bent to examine the other two men. "What happened to this one?"

"He defended us! It was amazing!" said Carina.

"Morgan did this?" Anna shook her head in dismay. "Right." She spotted the tranq pistol, and used it to take care of all of the targets who weren't already dead.

"What are you doing?" shrieked Sarah, playing her role.

"Don't worry, it's just knockout darts, they'll wake up in jail." She looked around. "Can you girls do me a favor, carry him while I clear a path to the back door?"

Like they had a choice.

Halfway to the back of the room they heard more gunfire from the front. Anna looked around, and spotted an abandoned knife at the chef's station next to her. She slammed on stick down on the tip of the blade, and the knife popped up into air. Swinging the other stick like a bat she sent the blade flying across the room to hit the incoming gunman. Not a killing blow, but effective.

"Huh. Didn't think that would work." She turned back to the rear of the room. "Move!"

Everyone moved. She kicked open the fire exit, adding an annoying screechy alarm to the hysteria of the day, in addition to knocking another agent by the back door over a railing with a broken nose. Anna used up the last of the darts on him, and took his gun.

"Into the car, ladies."

Sarah and Carina pretended to fumble.

"Watch it!"

"Sorry."

Once the drooling and newly-bruised chef-trainee was secured Anna hit the gas and sped off madly down the alley as her helpers buckled themselves in. "What was all that about?" Carina did a great fake-panic.

Anna looked nervously back and forth at her mirrors, checking for pursuit. "Sarah, I've got something to tell you, and it's going to sound crazy but you have to believe me."

Sarah looked understandably reluctant. "Okay?"

"I'm with the NSA."

"You're kidding."

"No I'm not kidding." Anna was practically screaming. "I've been a trainee for a couple of months now. I'm not even a full agent yet and I've been protecting Morgan for days from all these guys. I sent in an emergency code but no one's gotten back to me yet, so I'm just gonna go to my mentor's safehouse and try to figure out what to do. You have to come with me."

She turned to Sarah with wide eyes.

"Please don't tell Morgan."

* * *

"What do you _mean_ she's one of mine?"

"Listen for yourself, General." Chuck started the playback.

"She's a goddamn _trainee_? Where's her mentor? Who's responsible over there? Tell Sarah to get me whatever she can from this girl, but do not, I repeat not, break cover. Get Colonel Casey."

As Chuck passed on the message General Beckman got on her own phones. Chuck could hear her in the background shouting dire military threats at someone if they didn't 'get their thumbs out' and get back to her ASA-goddamn-P.

* * *

Casey had just cut the cake when the phone in his pocket starting buzzing one continuous stream. Everyone heard it, everyone stopped. "The party's over, gentlemen."

"Isn't _that_ typical?" said Showtunes.

"Here." Pebbles handed him a wrapped bundle as he was getting his coat. "Take some cake, at least. You earned it, Colonel." He stepped back, and they all saluted.

"Thank you, gentlemen. It's been a pleasure."

"Be here early tomorrow, will ya, Ladyfeelings? That toilet on three is giving us trouble again."

Ladyfeelings nodded. "You got it, boss."

* * *

"What is it, Eagle-Eye?"

"You remember An—uh, the…bearded troll's…girlfriend, don't you, Kaleidoscope? You recruited her, didn't you, after I told you not to."

Casey grunted. "Like I take orders from you, CIA. But to answer your question, no, I didn't recruit her. Why do you ask?"

"Because your 'typical Carmichael op' is apparently her work, NSA."

"No NSA agent would ever make the kind of scenes you did, Bar—"

"She's a trainee, she's alone, and now she's dragged Perfection and Stampede into the middle of her situation."

Chuck could hear Casey breathing heavily. "Well, at least she has an excuse, and now she has some competent backup, but don't tell Ca—uh…?"

"Stampede."

"Sounds about right. Don't tell her I said she was competent or I'll never hear the end of it. Who's her trainer?"

"North Star's trying to get that information now." Chuck raised the volume on Beckman's monitor.

"_I've got a stopwatch and a .45."_

Casey grunted, amused. "RHIP."

"Patching you through now."

* * *

Sarah looked through the doorway into the bedroom of the safe house. "You think he'll be alright? He didn't even move when we brought him in."

"That's tranqs for you."

"Will he be waking up soon?" With two darts in a relatively small body the answer should be a firm _No_.

Anna shrugged. "With Morgan, who can say? The way he drinks the grape soda and the Red Bull I'm surprised they knocked him out at all."

They retreated to the living room to sit and wind down, while Carina went to investigate the contents of the refrigerator.

"So…Anna…how long have you been with the government?" asked Sarah, a little hesitantly. "You weren't spying on me and Chuck at the Orange Orange, were you?"

"Ewww, gross! That was Jeff and Lester's thing, not mine. But come on, do you honestly think if I was working for the government I would have been caught dead in a Buy More?"

Sarah kept her eyes from looking at Carina, strangling in the kitchen. "Maybe…"

Carina spoke up. "Please, Sarah, even the government has more class than that."

"But I gotta tell you it's a lot more fun than sitting around watching Morgan practice flipping his damn shrimp day after day. At least it was until that guy came to his restaurant and caused all that fuss—"

"What guy?" asked Carina.

"That dictator guy!"

"Goya?" said Sarah.

"Yeah, him! We were shadowing him, my trainer and me, he said it was part of my training. When the shooting started he told me to stay in the car—"

"Did you?"

"Of course not, Morgan was in there!" Sarah and Carina both rolled their eyes. "I went in through the kitchen, because who's going to notice an Asian girl in the kitchen at a Benihana? And then I saw Morgan, struggling with the assassin—"

Sarah didn't have to fake her wide-eyed look. "Really?"

"Yeah, I know, right? I don't know what he thought he was doing, but I knew what the assassin was doing, so I did it first. I didn't know throwing knives was so easy!"

Sarah coughed.

"And since then it's been one guy after another. Who wants Goya dead so bad they'll go after a hibachi chef for being a hero?"

* * *

"That's a good question," said Casey. "It's not just Grimes. We're forgetting about Goya."

* * *

Sarah loved it when her job gave her the opportunity to be honest. "It sounds to me like it's you who's the hero here, Anna."

"Thanks, but you can't tell anyone that, okay. Especially Morgan. You know how men are."

Carina laughed out loud. "Oh, yeah, I know how men are."

"Then I feel sorry for the both of you," said Sarah.

* * *

Chuck smiled.

"You're smiling, aren't you, Eagle-Eye? I can hear you smiling. Cut it out."

* * *

Morgan's voice suddenly rose in a shriek, "Anna! I'm dying, Anna, they shot me!"

The three ladies ran to take positions around the bed. "Morgan! I'm here, Morgan, you're not dead. It was just a dream."

Morgan turned his face toward her voice, eyes blinking. "It was a nightmare!" he croaked. "I dreamed I was shot and I was dying and then I was in—" he looked around, Anna before him, Sarah and Carina, still in their bikinis, on either side, all of them with looks of concern on their faces "—Heaven."

* * *

"Have you sent a team to extract them, General?"

Beckman sighed. "No, Chuck, I'm afraid it's too late for that."

Chuck's face fell. "Wh-wha-what? But…we were just listening to them…"

"I was too late to send _the order_, Chuck. An extraction order for Agent Wu and Mr. Grimes was already sent, although I was able to add our agents' names to the list."

"Is this extraction order legitimate?" asked Casey. "Who else would be trying to get them, General?"

Beckman growled. Now Chuck knew where Casey learned it from. "Mr. Grimes is wanted here in Washington, so that Premier Goya can give him a medal."

* * *

**A/N2** The story does not end here! Stay tuned for the next vibrant and exciting episode of nine2five, Morgan's Angels! Can Washington endure?


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